Bullying & Inclusion: Why Kids Get Targeted (and How We Stop It)
The Quiet Crisis Nobody Talks About
Picture this: Your kid comes home “fine.”
They say school was “okay.”
They go straight to their room.
And later you find the note in their backpack… or the group chat screenshot… or the sudden refusal to go to school tomorrow.
Bullying doesn’t always look like punches and name-calling in the hallway.
Most of the time, it’s quiet.
It’s the eye roll.
The whisper.
The “you can’t sit here.”
The jokes that “aren’t jokes.”
The exclusion that makes a child feel invisible.
And here’s the part that breaks parents: kids often don’t tell—because they’re embarrassed… or they think it’s normal… or they’re scared it’ll get worse.
Bullying thrives in silence. Inclusion thrives in the open.
Why Do People Bully? (The Real Reasons)
People bully for reasons that have nothing to do with the target’s worth and everything to do with the bully’s unmet needs.
Common drivers:
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Power: making someone smaller to feel bigger
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Insecurity: attacking what they fear in themselves
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Status: performing for laughs or approval
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Learned behavior: they’re copying what they see at home, online, or in media
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Lack of empathy skills: they haven’t been taught how to handle differences
It’s not “kids being kids.”
It’s skills missing: empathy, emotional regulation, and respect.
And the hardest truth? Bullying often targets kids who are different in visible or invisible ways.
The “Difference” Effect: Why Some Kids Are Targeted More
Kids are bullied for things they did not choose:
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Neurodiversity (ADHD, autism, sensory needs)
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Disability or medical needs
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Anxiety, depression, or trauma responses
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Speech differences, reading struggles, learning support
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Bedwetting, bathroom needs, hygiene fears
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Clothes, body size, skin, hair, culture
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Simply being “new,” “quiet,” or “sensitive”
When something is misunderstood, it gets labeled.
When it gets labeled, it gets targeted.
And when nobody talks about it? It turns into shame.
Inclusion Isn’t “Being Nice.” It’s Safety.
Inclusion isn’t a poster on a school wall.
It’s a daily practice that says:
💛 “You belong here.”
💛 “You are safe here.”
💛 “You don’t have to hide.”
Inclusion is what protects kids who feel like they’re “too much” or “not enough.”
And yes—inclusion is taught.
The 3 Roles in Bullying (And the One That Changes Everything)
Most bullying isn’t just bully vs. victim.
There’s a third role:
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The child doing the bullying
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The child being targeted
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The bystanders watching
Bystanders are often scared, unsure, or trying to stay safe themselves.
But when just one person says, “Stop,” the dynamic changes fast.
That’s why inclusion matters: it trains kids to become upstanders, not silent witnesses.
What Parents Can Say (So Kids Actually Talk)
Try these instead of “What happened?” (which can shut them down):
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“Did anything today make you feel small?”
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“Who was kind to you today?”
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“Was there a moment you felt left out?”
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“If something was bothering you, would you want help or just a hug first?”
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“You’re never in trouble for telling me the truth.”
And if they share something hard:
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“I believe you.”
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“That shouldn’t be happening.”
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“You didn’t deserve that.”
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“We’re going to handle this together.”
When It’s Serious (Red Flags)
Please seek help (school + professional) if you notice:
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Sudden school avoidance or panic at drop-off
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Unexplained headaches/stomach aches
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Sleep changes, nightmares, bedwetting regression
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Mood swings, shutdowns, irritability
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Self-harm talk, hopelessness, “nobody likes me”
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Losing friends quickly or fear of group chats
Bullying can create real mental health injury—and it deserves real support.
The Inclusion Challenge (Easy, Real, Powerful)
Teach your child these 3 inclusion moves:
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Invite: “Sit with us.”
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Interrupt: “That’s not cool.”
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Check-in: “Are you okay?”
Inclusion is built in small moments that kids remember forever.
Why Chooniez Cares
At Chooniez by MH, we support kids who carry invisible challenges—whether it’s sensory needs, anxiety, disabilities, or bedwetting. Every child deserves comfort, confidence, and inclusion.
Because shame doesn’t help kids grow.
Support does.
💬 Have you or your child ever experienced bullying or exclusion?
You’re not alone. If you feel comfortable, share a tip that helped your family.
✨ Join our Chooniez Support Group for Parents — a safe space where no one has to carry hard things alone.
EndBullying #InclusionMatters #KidsMentalHealth #NeurodiversityAffirming
#SpecialNeedsParenting #ParentSupport #YouBelong #ChooseKindness
#StopBullying #RaiseKindKids #ChooniezByMH
📚 Sources & Credits
You can list these at the bottom of your blog or link to them:
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StopBullying.gov – U.S. Department of Health & Human Services
https://www.stopbullying.gov -
American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) – Bullying & mental health guidance
https://www.aap.org -
CDC – Youth Violence & Bullying Prevention
https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention -
American Psychological Association (APA) – Bullying psychology
https://www.apa.org
This content is educational and not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice.
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